QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASKED BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY

Wedding these days had turn out to be a bunch of events. What we usually know in the times of our forefathers as very simple and a quiet event had metamorphosed into a grand affair and celebrated one.
You wouldn’t be surprised with the color combinations, its event planning and management, the Aso-ebis, colorful bridal trains and specialized grooms men, varieties of food and drinks, entertainment and security, music and so on to mention a few. With all of these, it’s disappointing that many of these weddings do not see the light of the day. Many prepare for wedding but only few prepare for their life after the wedding. Many prepare for the event but only few are ready to face the married life. I then wonder, why do all of these happen to some people’s marriage? Is it a crime to prepare so much for weddings or a crime to carefully choose who to marry?
The following questions should provide you answers If you’d honestly answer them on whom you’ve chosen to marry or who you’d choose.

You cannot win a battle while preparing in battle, but you only win when you’re fully prepared before the battle.

1 – Am I prepared to cope with her when she’s pregnant and nursing a baby?
A woman never remains the same when she’s pregnant. Don’t be scared, it’s normal. She experiences some mood swings, hormonal imbalances and so on.

You must be able to love her beyond her ‘sweet sixteen’ figure otherwise you’ll have issues in this stage. Would you be able to cope when she’s giving more attention to the baby than she’d normally do for you?

Your maturity is needed her or else you’d begin to have an affair. It will be frustrating when you’re ready and all she gives you is a no response or I’m tired. If you don’t train yourself enough to cope at this stage this issue is enough to cause other issues that could tear your relationship apart.

2 – Am I prepared when he/she changes totally from who I know before marriage?
Change is constant and inevitable. Have you seen a picture of a couple that celebrated their fifty years jubilee? I’m sure you’d notice lots of changes that would have occurred in their life. It could be changes in physical appearance, behavioral pattern or entire change of personality.

He could have grown pot belly which you don’t like or she’s had some stretch mark which you don’t like. Your ability to adjust or blend with the situation would go along way in helping you.
If you don’t make up your mind to handle this unforeseen situation, you might end up having issues in the future.

3 – Am I prepared to handle some turn off if I eventually discover them?
Your dislike could be snoring, being untidy, having a habit you detest or a personality disorder. Assuming you didn’t discover everything about him or her during courtship and you later discovered it when you’re married, will you opt out of the marriage? Don’t expect a perfect person in marriage as you’d see in movies. Your ability to love, be patient and tolerate your spouse would help you solve issues like this when they arise in marriage.

4 – Can I cope when the challenges of life betide our relationship?
Marriage is not a bed of roses. There are ups and downs in it which you can’t predict. It takes beyond love to handle challenges when they come.
Will you still be there for her if probably it took a while for her to get pregnant, will you still love him if he lost his job or something terrible happens?
No one prays for evil to happen. We all love to see the bright side of life but when the eventualities of life unfolds, it takes prayer, patience, perseverance and determination to cope in this kind of situation. If you don’t have the mindset of making things work when situation seems unfavorable, it will be difficult for you to cope with him or her in marriage. 5 – Whom do you run to when there are issues?
Your parent? Your pastor? Your friend? Who you run to for help determines the kind of solution you’d get in life and in your marriage. I’m not saying it is wrong to probably seek counsel from these people but importantly, God should be the first person you consult for help. This is why it is very important to build an intimate relationship with Him while you are still single. Remember that a three fold cord is not easily broken when God is part of the bond.

Are you matured enough to know the kind of people you should run to for help? Build spiritual strength so that you won’t heed the counsel that would destroy your marriage. That the counsel seem good doesn’t mean it is godly counsel.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It takes more to work things out than just the wedding. Issues in wedding are not that complicated if you don’t go beyond your limits. Are you ready to cope with him or her when challenges come? Don’t be carried away by the physical qualities of your spouse or their personality impression, see their ability to cope with the issues of life and God’s consent to your choice.

Do you have a winning or timid spirit? The true test of love is known during challenges. Take your time to work on the things that would make your marriage successful instead of concentrating your efforts on the pre-wedding and wedding events. Work together. Solve issues and be mature enough to handle your spouse’s indifference.

#COPIED @Mayowa Adeniyi

PROVE THAT LOVE

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good” – 2 Thessalonians 5:21

I remember the Biology practical we had when I was in secondary school. There was a test we carried out to determine the acidic properties of unripe fruits. A red litmus paper was used and after the test, it turned blue. If we hadn’t used a litmus paper, using any other means would be consequential. Do you remembered the taste of unripe fruits?

This also applies to untested love. Have you test that love?

Many people claim to be in love but only few took their time to test the love they had or that was expressed to them. You don’t test love by putting all your life or heart in it, you test it with the appropriate elements.

Some people mistaken infatuation, lust or deception as love and at the end, they’ll say love is wicked, it’s crazy or it doesn’t cost a thing. Is that true about love? Nay!

God is love. Whether you agree or not, that’s the basic truth. Loving a person that doesn’t fear God is like a time bomb awaiting explosion. And loving like God doesn’t bring any hurt but when you allow other things to define your love, you’ll be exposed to terrible consequence.

And just before you allow that love to get over your head or heart, relax and subject that love to the following tests.

1. Time

How can you, in less than three months make up your mind to spend the rest of your life with a person without doing the needful? Love comes softly and it grows with time. It is not love if you rush or induce it.

Allow time to pass over his or her claim of loving you. If it’s genuine, it’ll stand the test of time. Love can’t be hidden, but the likes of lust and infatuation can. If it’s love, it’ll give you time to grow and express yourself.

But if it’s lust and the likes, it will hurriedly demand what it want from you and leave as soon as it has achieve its intent.

2. Sacrifice

God, being the model of love sacrificed His only begotten Son and His son likewise gave up His life for the salvation of mankind.

That love isn’t love if it doesn’t sacrifice anything cogent for you. It is not love if it is self-centered. No, it’s not love if it does make blind sacrifices that would ruin its life.

Love sacrifices, not at the expense of the life of the giver but to better the life of the receiver. It is not love if you have to prove it with sex, money or meet certain conditions. Love is sacrificial.

Does it sacrifices its time, energies and resources prudently? If it doesn’t do any of that, then it’s not the kind of love you must depend on otherwise you’ll put your life in jeopardy.

It takes time for love to grow and it takes sacrifice to see love grow. If he truly loves you, he won’t ruin your life for his self-centered or selfish reasons. And if she loves you, she won’t push you into what you’re not supposed to do just to prove the worth of her love.

Don’t be fooled by how romantic or scintillating his or her claim of ‘I love you’ is all about, allow time to pass over it if it’s the kind of love that would stand the test of time. Remember, it’s not love if you have to prove it with your body, sex or any conditions. Love grows softly, naturally and without catalyst that would speed it up, only lust and infatuation does.

Have you tested that love before you put all your eggs (heart, time, resources) in its basket?

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN AN INDISPENSABLE TREASURE

The worth of a woman is not about how expensive her jewelry, makeup, clothing or shoes are. It’s even more costly than what she uses to adorn her physical appearance.
A lot of ladies felt that being physically attractive and endowed are all that is important. But little did they know that the real worth of a woman is about the quality of her character. When other things fail, it is her character that keeps her attractive.

Quite a lot of ladies in this age are often characterized by lacking good moral standards. The way some of them behaves, relate or converse with their mates and elders are appalling. Some because they don’t want to take trash would treat you as a piece of trash.

Mind you, they’ll wish to be married to a nice man while having a dent in their character. Is that possible? There are several factors that makes a woman a treasure in life but for the sake of this piece, I’d concentrate more on the quality of her character.
Character defines who a person is, it’s a distinctive feature that a person is known for. Good character spreads beyond where you get to and bad ones also spread faster.

When your name is heard, what can be said of you in one sentence? I know men also have character issues but would deal with that in subsequent article.
What defines a lady’s character is her belief and who she allows to influence her. Show me your friends and I’ll tell who you are. The kind of female friends you keep to a large extent define what kind of character you’ll be known for should you allow them to influence you.

When you walk with a lady who’s rash in her words, you’ll soon become like her because you’d believe it’s proper to spill out words without having a taste of them.
Do your friends have regards for elderly ones? Do they have courtesy, respect and piety? Watch who you walk with lest you become like them.

Concerning your belief, what do you believe in? Do you believe in good morals or loose morals? Do you believe in God or you choose to believe in human philosophy that contradicts godly virtues?
Sad to say this, a lot of ladies ignored the home training they received while some weren’t properly trained. Don’t believe in your beauty; character matters most. It takes beauty to attract a man but character keeps you in marriage.
Having academic excellence, career success, financial independence, exposure or you’re spiritually sound without having a good character is nothing but a waste. When you believe in ephemeral things as the true worth of a woman, you’ll tend to ignore working on your character.

Don’t choose to be like a celebrity, become who God wants you to be and let His word mold your being. Peter admonish women not to focus on external beauty but that they should possess a meek and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:3-4). God is not interested in your hairdos, or how expensive your jewelry and clothes are, He respect women like Esther, Sarah, Abigail and others. In case you don’t know, your character would determine how you’d fare well with your in-laws, I hope someone reading this isn’t amongst those who wished their mother-in-law shouldn’t be alive. No matter how cruel she might be, a good character will overcome the bad ones.

Don’t allow civilization or westernized culture erode your values and culture. It’s not old-fashioned to give respect to your elders as some culture does by kneeling. Do not forget that a good character speaks volumes about who you are. Know how to show respect to the male folks for those who deserve it. And if they don’t, politely deal with them rather than be rude and harsh.

Work on your character should you notice any flaws in it. Be polite. Don’t be ill-mannered, disrespectful, proud, worldly or rash with your words. Remember, a beautiful woman without a beautiful character is not better than a woman with an enviable character.