IS LOVE JEALOULSY

I remember my first time experience about love shortly after my secondary school education. I never had any relationship during my secondary school years. But, this came unexpected. It happened that there was a lady I admired and we became friends. We both pursued the same passion in the same department in church. We found it easy to get along, do extracurricular activities after church service. Not minding the distance of her house from mine, I’ll go to her place where we chat and spend time together. The relationship was godly and there’s no sinful habit.

In no time, we became family friends as our parents knew each other and our siblings too were friends. Few months down the line, here comes a new member, a brother who joined us in the department and before I’d say Jesus is Lord, he got her attention. She no longer comes to my house as before. I became jealous because I sensed rivalry. Her mom also knew about it. I felt pained and almost heart broken. Should I have fought for love? Why was I jealous when someone else bought her affection? When you’re in love, there’s every tendency to desire protection of whom you’re in love with. Because of your affection, intimacy and emotional connection, you’d never want anyone to overthrow the position you occupy in the heart of who you love. Hence, you’ll do all it takes to secure the love. To secure that emotional oneness you shared, first you become jealous and then sensitive to anyone that could act as a rival. It’s normal to be jealous. But it is when jealousy gets to the extreme that envy, rage and fight would come up all in the name of love..

Why do people gets jealous when they begin to sense rivalry or emotional encroachment? Do you know that God is love? Love is not all about sexual fantasies, immoralities and sex; it has to do with commitment and improving the life of whom you love. Hence, it’s not heresy to say God is a jealous God. Does it sound weird? In Deuteronomy four verse twenty-four, God is a consuming fire and a jealous God. God will never share His glory with anyone. In the Gospels, He requested that man must love Him with all his heart, soul, strength and might (Luke 10:27). He doesn’t want anything or anyone to come in between you and Him. This is why He’s jealous.

When you love your spouse or partner, it’s normal to be jealous when you sense a rivalry. But the jealousy shouldn’t lead to aggression or cause fight between the rival. It’s not love when you’re not jealous but when the jealousy becomes extreme that it leads to a fight, it’s no longer love but rage. Similarly, when jealousy begins to make you feel possessive or monitoring your spouse’s life, then it’s not love but lust. Love is kind and not controlling. A bit of jealousy is needed to make a person feel special. But when you’re not bothered if a rival comes or not, it shows a lackadaisical attitude about love. Or perhaps you don’t treasure whom you love.

Don’t get overly protective or controlling because you don’t want a rival. It’s normal for rivalry to occur even when you’re married. Some men would still desire to have you having seen a wedding band on your finger, you only have to remain faithful to your marital vows or whom you’re engaged to. Love is jealous but going the extreme makes it worse and immature. It’s weird for a lady to be fighting because of rivalry or a man to engage in throwing punches or to do evil against someone who took the affection of whom you love. A person that’s truly in love with you, though would have suitors but would ensure to remain faithful despite the advances. If God is jealous of securing His love relationship with man, then you must jealously secure your love for your spouse or partner but not to the extreme.