Going by hard core experience, I may not have been best suited in writing anything about marriage because I'm still a first class bachelor. But going by divine inspiration, I believe I have found grace in His sight to share these truths with you.
In my years of learning about marriage, both theories from books and practical discoveries from married folks, I have come to the conclusion that one thing is surely needed by couples to make their marriage successful.
You don't need so many teachings or counsel to make your marriage work, you only need one thing. Just one thing!
David didn't use many stones to keep Goliath, he only picked the right one. Jesus didn't tell Martha to do many things, He only pointed her to Mary who did one thing that was needful.
It is not how much of the religious activities you do that shows you love God, the conclusion of Jesus' summary of the Ten Commandments is encapsulated in one sentence - the proof that you love God is determined by how much of His word you know and obey.
Do I also need to tell you that you don't need many ideas to become great in life or know many great men, you just need one right idea or a great man that will catapult you to the peak of greatness.
One basic formula for running a successful marriage is UNDERSTANDING, and for a successful Christian marriage to thrive, understand the marriage relationship between Christ and the Church - His bride. That's all!
Permit me to break it down.
It is understanding that would make you patient when your spouse is infuriated.
It is understanding that will make you tolerate the excesses and shortcomings of your partner.
It is understanding that will make you choose the right partner, be the right person and apply the right principles for a successful marriage.
It's understanding that will make you walk out of a heated argument that could push you to abuse your partner verbally and violently.
How much of understanding you have is a reflection of your expression of love that is unconditional, sacrificial and selfless.
Do you know that it's understanding that will make you study your partner to know them? I don't mean studying to love them, but to dwell with him or her according to the knowledge that you have discovered.
It's understanding that will make you deal wisely with your mean in-laws and spouse.
No wonder Solomon in his wisdom said that in all your getting, get understanding.
Do you know that he further said that understanding is a wellspring of life to him that has it? More to be gotten than silver is to get understanding?
Oh, how I wish you knew how many times David prayed for understanding in Psalms 119 and what Jesus did to His disciples who lacked it!
You may have everything that qualifies you to be married, but if you don't have understanding, please don't go into marriage.
It is understanding that will make you know how men behaves in specific situations of their lives, and likewise women; but lack of understanding will make you misbehave.
In running a successful Christian marriage, you need divine understanding. When you understood how Jesus related with His bride and how His bride related with Him, you will understand the ethos of a successful Christian marriage.
It is good to read relationship or marriage books, attend seminars or marriage conferences, but if you lack understanding, you will mess up your marital life.
Several issues in life will test your understanding of marriage, you must be grounded in understanding.
Understanding is beyond an abstract concept, it's a virtue that's embedded in a man or woman's personality.
What do you understand about a man or woman? What do you understand about your own man or woman?
In all your getting, get understanding!
© Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa 2020
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