If many of us had understood that we'd be married to someone someday, we'd have been intentional about doing certain things for them even before we meet them.
It's one thing to believe that God can guide you on whom to marry, it's another thing to do something for them before you meet them or after you have met them.
Understanding is a crucial matter in any relationship. How you'd relate or react to your partner is tied to your understanding, how they'll relate and react towards you is a function of their understanding.
When you know certain things about your partner and you do the right thing, it will go a long way in making your relationship blissful.
What you need to know about him or her
1. They have a past
I have a past. You have one. Your would be spouse also have one.
Some people's past are beautiful, some ugly or terrible. But no past is too bad that with God and your understanding, you can't live with.
Whether you have met each other or not, arm yourself with an understanding that they do not fall from heaven. So, be prepared to deal with whatever past you'd discover about them. This is one of the reasons why you must depend on God to guide you in your choice of who to marry.
God won't bring you a person whose past you can't deal with. But if you choose without Him, I'm afraid if their past won't destroy your union when you discover it.
2. They have a mindset
Our mindset is as old as how grown-up we have become. It's formed by our education, religion, experience, exposure and philosophy about life.
Your partner's mindset may not tally with yours, you need wisdom to handle this. One of the areas where you must be one flesh is in the area of your mindset. Don't be one flesh in body when you haven't become so in spirit and soul.
When you marry someone, you also marry their mindset and you need understanding and patience so your mindset can blend.
3. They're not perfect
Nobody is perfect, we are all work in progress to become one.
Your partner's age, years of being saved, church, education or experience does not determine how perfect they may be. However, perfection is relative. What you term perfection may not be what your partner defines perfection to be.
Love accepts an imperfect person, and with understanding, it relates with them until they both grow to be perfect.
Never expect your partner to be 100% perfect. This is why there's need for realistic compromise and understanding to tolerate one another till your imperfection sublimes.
Now that you know your partner or would be one isn't an angel who is flawless and doesn't have any track record of negative past, you must be ready to do the following for them.
1. Pray
Whether you have met him or her or not, you need to pray for him or her. Prayer goes a long way in addressing lots of things in their lives only if you pray for them while waiting or continue with same when married.
Prayer can correct a wrong mindset, repair the effect of a bad foundation (past) and improve their state of imperfection. This is called intercessory prayer and it has to be persistent.
Pray for him or her if you haven't met them. This is faith at work, and it'll prevent you from worrying.
2. Be patient
Having met him or her, be patient with him or her. Love is patient. It takes patience to achieve oneness, it's a process and it's not automatic. You need patience so that you can both understand each other.
There is nobody you can't live with, except a wrong, if you are patient and relate with them with understanding. However, patience is not learnt through formal education, you learn it through experience or God gives you.
It takes patience to marry the right person and to make your marriage successful. If you don't relate with your partner in patience, your impatience will destroy lots in your marriage.
Impatience will make you feel suspicious, jealous, assume, throw tantrums, and would affect your union.
3. Communicate
It's believed that communication is the lifeblood of every relationship.
If you're yet to meet with your spouse, speak into their life prophetically; if you are married, engage in meaningful conversations with yourselves.
Mutual communication helps you achieve emotional intimacy. Without effective communication, separation will creep into your relationship. When communication is absent, you will live as strangers.
Talk about your fears, future, hope, success, failure, dreams, aspirations and any matter of concern. You can't underestimate the power of effective communication in your relationship. It saves you from visiting counselors frequently if you two can open up to each other.
Now that you know what you need to know about your partner, and the things you need to do, what's preventing you from doing these?
© Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa 2020
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Kudos brother.👍👍
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