One of the most fear-inducing, unpredictable but most amazing institution in life is the institution of marriage. If there's anything else that many feared the most based on stories heard, information handed over or what they witnessed personally, is this thing called marriage.
Marriage is beyond the coming together of a man and woman to become husband and wife. If this is only the understanding you have about marriage, you will be shocked to know that there's more to marriage than living together as couples.
Do your thoughts about marriage make you fear, or the uncertainties in it worries you? I bring you glad tidings from the Lord.
To get the best out of your marriage, one thing is needful; it is called understanding, and it is the foundation on which other things thrives.
First, work on your mindset. Others may have a failed or enduring marriage, you must be optimistic about yours. Your understanding about marriage will affect your mindset.
The difference between a successful or failed marriage has much to do with the mindset of the persons involved. If what you understood about marriage is to consider divorce at the sight of minor issues, your marriage can't reach a decade.
More so, if what you understood about marriage is that when a woman acts womanly, beating her up is the best way to deal with the situation, then something is wrong with your mindset.
If because he couldn't fulfill his role as a man financially for a while, then frustrating him is all you think would solve the problem, your mindset is wrong.
Marriage is sweet, it depends on the cutlery (understanding) you use. And it could be sometimes worse than hell, it's still a function of your understanding.
You need to understand God's purpose for marriage before you venture into it, that's if you want to do so according to His will.
God didn't create marriage first, He created man before marriage was institutionalized. Marriage was created so that a man and his wife would continue the fulfillment of God's purpose for their lives - and to enforce dominion by multiplying God's influence on earth (establishing His kingdom).
When you lack this basic understanding and you think having marital sex, giving birth to children are all that there is to marriage; what happens when there's delay in having a child or there's sexual dissatisfaction?
Know why God created marriage before you go into it. If you don't, you will bastardize this amazing institution.
To make sure that your marriage succeed, you need to understand yourself before you think of settling down with someone else.
Do you know yourself - God's purpose for your life, your perception about life, temperament and all those things you need to know about yourself?
Can you marry the kind of person you have become? You need to work on this so you can correct those things that would make you have a failed marriage or become a wrong partner.
Because many do not know who a wrong person is and how to identify one beyond face value, they think everyone who meets their specs is the right person.
You need to understand who a wrong person is so you can do all that's in your ability to avoid one. A wrong person doesn't believe in what you believe, neither do they value what you value.
The physical appearance and those compatibility checklist of a wrong person who looks like a potential suitor, which is unknown to you, may exceed your average score, but what truly makes them wrong is the condition of their heart - their motive for desiring to marry.
Almighty formula won't reveal the condition of their heart, but that you seek His face earnestly in the place of prayer.
Do you also know that marriages fail when the wrong person marries the right person; when two wrong persons marry each other and when the right persons applied the wrong principles to run their marriage?
Marriage is not complex or evil as it has been painted to be, what many lack is understanding. If the ground on which you stand about marriage is wrong and you venture into it, when rain falls, the floods came and the wind of life beats upon your marriage, great will its fall be.
What do you understand about this thing called marriage? What have you read about marriage? Which source did you get your knowledge about marriage from?
Remember, guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life, and as a man (or woman) thinks in his heart (about marriage and in relating with their partner) so is he.
© Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa 2020
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