by Mayowa Adeniyi
The rate at which the female folks are complaining bitterly about men and marriage in this age is so alarming. Many have come to the conclusion that all men are the same, they’re wicked and all sort and have also transferred this mentality into the upcoming generation.
Many, because it’s often believed by them that love is ‘blind’, has ignorantly accepted the proposal they’re not meant to accept. Few years into the marriage, they’ll see that love isn’t blind.
That he has a promising future, handsome look or seem compatible with all your preference is not enough to make him the right person for you. See the signs!
It’s often true that change is inevitable in life but there are some signs that could have given you a hint of what the future would look like if you did not ignore them. If your physical eyes can’t see them, then engaging your inner eyes would greatly help.
What are the signs to be on the lookout for before you say ‘I do?’
1. Abusive
A man can’t know the worth of a woman in his life if he doesn’t know her purpose. Owing to this, he’d abuse her physically or verbally.
Any man that gets annoyed when you both talk and bangs the table or hits the wall would someday turn you to a punching bag in marriage.
No man in his right sense should slap you or hit you. But it’s quite unfortunate that some ladies ignore signs like this, believing that he’ll change in marriage, my dear, it’ll only get worse.
Verbal abuse is another sign you should look out for. If he shouts, yell or name call you, then there’s no indication that he’ll stop that when you get married. You don’t have the power to change him, only God can!
2. Cheating
Cheating is a lifestyle. You cannot reduce the effect of a poisonous substance by changing its container.
A man that cheats before marriage will remain a cheat after marriage except God works in him. Don’t think marrying him would make him change, not even his promise is enough to change him.
If he cheats on you emotionally and sexually, it’s best you take a step out of the relationship before you seal up your life with him. If he can’t embrace sexual fidelity, nothing will make him faithful to you in marriage.
Look before you leap! If he does it once, it’s a mistake; but when it’s more than once, it’s an habit.
3. Lies
A liar is next to a thief according to a Yoruba saying (Eni toba paro ma jale).
It’s highly intolerable to live with a liar because your life is not safe with him. In fact, marriage built on lies cannot stand the test of time nor will it thrive.
If you know next to nothing about his his life, vision, past, fears and purpose then it’s advisable not to journey with him in marriage.
Seek to know the truth by making your findings. It’s not lack of trust to verify information in a relationship. Remember, in the mouth of two or more witness, the truth is established.
One thing remains inevitable in life, the heart of men (women) is desperately wicked, who can know it? Before you fall head over heels in love with him, see the signs before you get trapped.
1. See through counsel
You don’t need a counselor to get counsel, there are times the voice of men could seem the voice of God. Do you listen to the voice of your parents, friends or peers?
Don’t be blinded by ‘love’. There are some things you’ll never see because you’re in love, reflect on their observation before it gets to late to revert from the journey you should have not embarked on.
2. Prayerfully see
Have you prayerfully considered his proposal before you accept it? If he tries to play smart and trickier, there’s a God that can reveal the secret intent of the heart of men.
It would be better you pray to God to show you the man and your future with him. Once He reveals what you need to know about the journey, you’ll know if it’s safe to say ‘I do’ or back out from the relationship.
It’s never late to carry out a litmus test on your relationship with him. See the signals! Don’t allow ‘love’ or love to becloud your emotional senses. Listen to counsel than ignore warning signs. Above all, pray!
What is good needs prayer and the reverse needs prayer. Let God reveal what you don’t know about him and the fate of the relationship to you so that you can have His backing before you step in.
Don’t be carried away by his flattering or sweet talks. Marriage thrives better on truths rather than on lies.
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety” – Proverbs 11:14.
I often get amaze when I hear that some people consider prayers as their last option when they’re taking major decisions in life such as whom to marry.
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