“You cannot know certain things in life if you don’t learn. Infact it’s best to learn personally so that you can appreciate knowledge better”.
I don’t claim to know all about relationship because I’m not a custodian of knowledge. God knows all things. But the few I learn from people, been taught by God or personally experienced in the past are what I often share.
Recently, I have some experience about relationship which I’ll love you to read between the lines. I have friends, both male and female; singles, engaged and married; online and offline and those with different academic background and understanding about life and God.
Some of these experiences I’ll pen down, it took me five years to know. Some are bittersweet experience while others doesn’t take so long to learn. It will do you much good if you learn from me so you don’t have to painfully experience these.
What are these lessons?
1. There’s a thin line between love and lust
It’s very easy to cross the boundary when you are ignorant of certain things. Love is all about improving the life of whom you’re in love with while you ensure that you are committed to them.
As much as it’s easy to be in love, it’s also easy to crossover to lust when you entertain sexual pleasure, erotic conversations or carnal desires. You can start with love and end up in lust. Know when and where to draw a balance when you notice lust.
2. Live by principles and not by pleasure
To be principled is often like having self-control. If you don’t have rules that guides you, you’ll be driven by frivolities.
It’s better to be ‘harsh’ when you live by principles than to have no rules that guides you. He that has no rule over his spirit is like a city without walls. Don’t be known for nothing but for purpose.
3. Don’t compromise your values for pleasure
In a bid to satisfy who we love, many usually end up compromising their values for pleasure. I know how it feels. It’s worse to lower your standards because you will lose focus or stagnate your progress in life.
4. Don’t wound your conscience
Is that possible? God gave you that small voice to nudge you when you do anything wrong or it often prompts you before doing it.
When you keep disobeying it, you’ll become rebellious to it till it becomes ineffective. It’s at this stage that the Bible says they have a conscience that has been seared with hot iron.
5. Time is of essence in life – don’t waste it<> When you’re in love, it’s necessary to desire spending more time with whom you love. But you cannot spend more than on the relationship and neglect your life or career. Chatting for hours has no value it would add to your life. Time spent on baseless talk will amount to futility. Schedule time to bond and create more time to do the needful that matters to your life and future. Don’t starve any area of your life because of your relationship. Invest in your time and don’t waste it. 6. Discover your purpose first before you desire a partner Life is worth living when you know why you’re living. Life is fulfilling when you know your purpose earlier before seeking a partner. Seek to know your purpose first because it would help you know who to marry and who not to move with. It’s lack of purpose that would push you from one relationship to another while seeking for love and acceptance. 7. Are you searching for a partner? Don’t lean on your understanding! Many believe that they can find who to marry on their own. Yes it’s possible if you don’t want God to help you. But I’m sure you know the fate of such relationship. Don’t think dating, cohabiting and the likes would help you. Prayerfully seek His guidance. 8. Be patient if you desire God’s best Many who want God to help them often become impatient at His timing. God doesn’t work according to your preparation, maturity or depending on your age. If you’re not ready to measure up to what He wants to give you, He won’t do it. Instead of worrying yourself, ‘sleep’ like He did to Adam instead of jumping from one relationship to another. 9. Don’t make blind sacrifices<> There are some things people do for love. Some are good, some are crazy and some are weird. Don’t sacrifice your sexual purity, values or something tangible for something of less value. It’s never worth it and you’ll still regret it later.
Remember, wisdom can be acquired when you learn from others but only a fool will make mistakes and not not learn from it.
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