Singles' Corner
by Mayowa Adeniyi
If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
Foundation: Which Ground Does Your Relationship Rests on?Regardless of how you initiate your relationship, there is always a motive or platform to which it was built. For instance, if what led you to start a relationship or the reason why it exist is based on the gift you frequently receive, then the foundation of your relationship is founded on material benefits.
A foundation is a part of a building which bears all the weight of the building both dead (the building weight), imposed and wind load. It determines the strength of the building.
What brought you together is the foundation of your relationship. There are several platforms on which relationship can be built. The foundation of a relationship has lots to do with how the relationship would fare when it faces some challenges. Read the following types of foundation.
#1 – DECEPTION
It is often said or generalized by certain sect of people that the female folks love deceit. Although, this may be true but it has a negative effect on the relationship. Deceit is misleading a person or giving false information about yourself to your partner.
Any relationship built on lies cannot stand the test of time when it is exposed to the light of reality. It would also lead to the breach of trust and the victim is psychologically affected and may find it difficult to trust anyone again.
#2 – MONEY
It is good to have money and the things money can buy but it become an issue when it defines the existence of a relationship. A lot of relationship that was built on money fails when there’s little or no money in supply.
There should be a limit to how it is used especially when you are unmarried. Using money to buy affection or love does not make up for a good relationship. In fact it will not help you to know how much your partner loves you.
#3 – LUST
Many people confuse love with lust. Love develops over a period of time. It doesn’t occur at first sight or evolve suddenly. It grows with commitment and the willingness to improve the welfare of the person you love.
However, lust is a strong desire that comes us suddenly because of a particular thing you admire in your partner. It is the mother of infatuation. Any relationship built on this platform will fail because lust can never stand the test of time. It fades quickly after the desire has been granted.
#4 – FEELINGS
Many relationships are built on feelings. Feelings come into play as a result of shared intimacy or the closeness that occurred between two people. When you engage in activities together for a period of time, there is every tendency for you to build up feelings for the other person. You begin to think more often, create fantasies or wild dreams about the person.
The human mind works like a magnet. When you bring a magnet close to a metal, there is an attraction. Such is the case of feelings that creates affection. A relationship built on feelings would fail when the feelings cease to exist. Relationship cannot thrive longer on the platform of feelings because it is temporal.
#5 – SEX
I know that many relationships today are created on the basis of sexual benefits. Only a tiny fraction of relationships can survive without sex for a long period of time before marriage. Have you seen any relationship that was established on the platform of sex that survives or leads to marriage, maybe one out of fifty? Love is not sex and sex is not love. Many people mix up an expression of love with the art of lovemaking.
A relationship built on sex before marriage does not last because sex does not make a partner committed, it does not reveal the true test of love, it creates depression and guilt, it creates soul ties and the transfer of STD, it is not a means of expressing love and it contradicts God’s command. Sex is ONLY meant for married couples alone.
#6 – LOVE
One of the misunderstood things in life is love. Most people think they know what it entails and need not to be enlightened about it before they venture into practicing it. Some base their love on feelings, emotions or on certain conditions and then build their relationship on it. All of these cannot sustain relationship in the long run.
Any ground other than decision, responsibility, commitment and sacrifice to what love is, will fail. Love does not cease but feelings do. It does not change but emotions do and it is unconditional.
#7 – GOD’S APPROVAL & THE FEAR OF GOD
Yes! The fear of God! Does it sound irrelevant? With the exception of marriage, you may not need God’s approval before you start a relationship.
Do you know that love is not enough to make a relationship successful? Love is good but when certain situation comes, such as temptation, pressure, influence or the need to cheat on one’s partner; it takes the fear of God to achieve this.
A relationship that is 100% secured or that can weather through any storm is one that is built on the fear of God. The fear of God is a guide that prevents one from doing evil, becoming ignorant or acting is foolishness. Love can fall into temptation but it takes the fear of God not to yield. If God doesn’t approve your relationship for marriage, don’t decide to marry based on what you see or feel. Get His approval.
If the foundation is bad, how can the building stand? Having this in mind, the foundation of your relationship determines the duration of your relationship and its success. Foundations like deception, feelings, money, sex, love or lust cannot give you a successful relationship.
Deception will fail when it is exposed to reality. Feelings will cease, money may stop, sexual desire will fade, lust is temporal but the love that is built on the fear of God and having His approval is best ground for a successful marital relationship. Share this:
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