“It is easy to learn how to become a good wife when you’re single than to be one when you’re married” (HRI)
A woman is a great being created by God for the well-being of a man. When God considered the need for a man to be assisted in the garden, He brought Eve and not Steve to him.
She became his suitable help meet in the garden: a partner in achieving God’s purpose for his life, an assistant outside the garden and a bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.
These and many more are the roles women play in the life of a man they’re married to. But the journey of becoming a good wife doesn’t start in marriage, it starts several years before then. I’ll like to share some lessons every single ladies must learn from in the Bible.
The story of Abigail is one which a lot of people often do not know. Mind you, that you’re called Abigail doesn’t mean you have the character of Abigail. But you need to know some things about her.
Abigail is a woman that’s married to a man called Nabal and Nabal by interpretation means a fool. Surprised?
Why do I need to learn from this?
1. If you’re married to a man who is a fool, you can’t fulfil your destiny nor help him achieve his
Take your time to prayerfully seek God’s face when it comes to choosing a life partner than to allow ephemeral things catch your attention. God’s original plan for marriage has no divorce in it. You must pay the price to marry a man with whom you can fulfil purpose together.
A man becomes a fool when he doesn’t know God’s purpose for his life. He becomes worthless when his wife is closer to God than him. And it is a shame to be married to a man who abuses you physically and add no value to your life but makes you wish you were single. Many single ladies are married and their career, purpose and vision dies in marriage. That you’re a suitable help meet doesn’t mean you should abandon your life and become trapped in his own.
Nabal was a good for nothing man because he spurned David’s servant. There are lots of men who are good for nothing and if you’re married to them, your life becomes an extension of your singlehood. It’s one thing to be married to a man and another thing to be married to a boy.
2. You need more than a beautiful countenance to become a good wife
A lot of ladies believes that if they can appear good, smell nice, have good dress sense, use designer’s perfume and outfit; that’s all they need in marriage and to attract a potential partner. It is good to look good but your good looks cannot grant you a good marriage.
There are many beautiful women who lacked good character that would make them a good wife. Abigail was beautiful and she has a good character. Don’t concentrate so much on how you look rather consider the condition of your innermost being. True beauty is not a function of your looks but a reflection of your good character.
And Apostle Peter emphasized it further this way, “You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you fix your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear. Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God’s sight” – 1 Peter 3:3-4 (GNT). There are many beautiful ladies who do not have good characters. Be beautiful and brained.
3. Work on the attributes that makes you a good wife
It was said of Abigail that she had a good character. The components of a good character has nothing to do with beauty but having the fear of God, being wise to give good advice, having a ability to quell a fight, respect, being submissive and so on. Your time of being single should be used to develop these qualities in you. Instead of wasting your fortune on frivolities, worrying about being single and the likes, your single years should be a preparatory years in becoming a good wife.
Your beauty can get you into marriage but your character would keep you in it. Know the purpose of a woman beyond sex so that you can know the man with whom you’d be a suitable help meet to.
Importantly, you need God’s guidance to marry the right man. Don’t be carried away by how a man appears. Consider the things of substance rather than be moved by the things that are appealing to your sight.
And the best time to learn how to become a good wife is NOW that you’re single. You practice what you’re made of in marriage. Improve your character because it last longer than your beauty.
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