D' kingdom Domain

Compatibility: 5 Significant Checklists To know If You Are “Can two walk together except they agree” (The Bible, Amos 3:3). Oftentimes most issues that come up in a relationship are caused by the parties involved. I usually wonder if this problems were not known earlier. Although change is constant, but some indicators should have shown signs of what a person might turn out to be. This is why courtship should be a period of preparation, studying and knowing the person you want to end up your life with not a fun fare. Hence, it should not only end on the physical preparation process alone. I usually wonder why some relationship usually ends in divorce, separation or domestic violence. There must have been signs which was not seen or warnings from others which he/she failed to listen. That a man hits the wall or bang the table when he’s angry does not mean he won’t hit you when you’re married. That a woman locks you up on your shirt doesn’t mean she won’t slap you in annoyance. Don’t marry someone that bullied or victimized you when you were courting. Compatibility is the ability to agree or walk side by side successfully with your intended spouse. This is not the physical walk but agreement of opinions, values, ideas and some basic things that matters in life. Your compatibility level should be checked while you are still courting rather than when you are married. It will be late then. Some areas of compatibility can be compromised but the followings should not be. OCCUPATION What can you do for you to earn a living, a business or having a degree? You need to check if your partner measures up to the same level of occupation as you do. I do not mean that you do the same business or job. It is bad for a man to dream of marrying a rich lady (I’m not saying you should marry a poor woman) or think of converting her purpose of a help meet to a full housewife. Pressure will be intensified on the provider. If a man/woman does not have a job/business to help one another, there will be lots of issues in their relationship except if either of them can cope. SPIRITUAL Some people are spiritually inclined while some are not. There will be no problem when those who are not spiritual come to terms in marriage. But there’s a complex issue when your partner does not measure up with the same level of your spirituality. Don’t marry someone that does not love God as much as you do. If you do, they will frustrate your love for God, make you backslide or stagnant. Going to church/mosque, being part of the workforce in the church/mosque or having a spiritual father/mother is not enough proof of spiritual compatibility. You need to know if the fruit of their character identifies them to be spiritually inclined or they have an intimate walk with God. COMPATIBILITY OF PURPOSE Some people end up tied to their marriage because they gave up their career or business so that they can cater for their marriage and children. Hence, they loose focus in life. Purpose defines your direction in life. It is a tragedy to marry someone without a specific purpose in life. The marriage will be boring and less fulfilling. Do not marry someone with whom you don’t agree in terms of purpose in life. It will be a tragedy for someone who wants to be a missionary to marry a career woman. There will not be mutual support, encouragement or growth between them. Instead of them to grow together, they will grow apart and its most likely that their relationship fail in the future. Talk about your purpose to see if you two are heading in the same direction or not. MENTAL Through wisdom, a house is built and by understanding, it is established (Prov. 24:3). Marriage is more than a journey or a thing of culture which must be fulfilled. Who are you getting married to? You need to check if he/she is someone that is mentally equipped so as to contribute to the development of your life. Do not marry a fool or someone who has no positive contribution to your life. It will affect your relationship. Imagine the aftermath of Abigail and Nabal’s marriage in the bible. David ended up marrying Abigail because she was wise and knows how to address issues unlike her husband, Nabal who was a fool (1 Sam. 25). Mental compatibility needs to be checked in your relationship before you marry him/her. Without doing this, there will always be compounding issues which wisdom alone would solve. Relationship is not all fun. He/she must be able to make wise contributions to your life. FINANCIAL one important area where issues usually manifest in relationship is the area of finances. It’s usually a problem when it is in short supply or not enough. Also, when a partner is the financial sole provider, it will cause pressure on the provider and frustration on the dependent partner. Financial compatibility must be considered and agreed before you must accept to marry a person. Doing this can be achieved by knowing if a partner has a profitable business or stable source of income. It is imperative that you two agree on this aspect of compatibility because money can sustain a marriage and also mar it. *Read article: Financial Independence: 4 Ways to Achieve This Before Marriage Do not go into marriage if you are not financially independent because you will be less secured or confident to handle monetary issues unless the provider is available. As a lady, if your partner wants you to quit your career to be a full house wife without making adequate provisions for your financial upkeep, then you will face issues when you marry. As a man, don’t attempt to go into marriage if you want to depend on your wife to be or wish that she’s from a wealthy background. I’m not saying you should marry a pauper, but her wealth should not be the basis for your marriage. Work to earn yours and be proud of what you have. This is when you can earn some respect. The issue of compatibility before marriage should not be taken with levity because it goes a long way in defining the duration of your relationship. Your period of courtship should be a period of effective communication to know areas where you two would agree over your life purpose, spirituality, financial life, mental and occupation wise. When these areas are worked at, it will guarantee hassle free relationship when other things such as love, patience and the likes have been put in place. What other areas do you think needs to be agreed upon in the issue of compatibility? Share your opinions with us.